Trust is won by predictable, open, space-owning behavior, not by being the smartest person in the room.
Predictability earns trust before a word is spokenSymmetrical, completed behavior lets the instinct predict you; unpredictable fidgeting makes people uncomfortable within seconds.
Show your hands or lose the roomOpen palm gestures at navel height beat a smarter competitor whose hands are under the table.
Get in the river before you push backAccept and flow with someone's plan first; arguing head-on only makes them go harder down their route.
Executive SummaryAI
Mark Bowden introduces himself as an expert in human behavior and body language who helps people all over the world stand out, win trust and gain credibility, including some of the leaders of the G7.
He argues the primitive brain decides trust by asking whether it can predict the future with you, so predictable, symmetrical behavior reads as safe while fidgety, incomplete behavior makes people default to negatives.
He demonstrates this with his hands: saying "I have 30 years of experience, on time and on budget" with hands hidden is trusted less than saying "I'm new to this, there will be costly mistakes" with open palms on show.
His rules for any room are show more rather than closed, maximize your own territory (mug at locked arm's length, a hand span from the table), and get proximate to the most valuable person present, which he calls borrowed credibility.
For persuading and selling he starts with influence, from the medieval Latin for "in the river with": accept the other person's direction first, describe their problem better than they can, and only then move them with a binary choice.
Key Quote
“When you don't know, when I don't know, when we have insufficient data, we default to negatives.”
— Mark Bowden
Key Quote
“And I can win over my smarter competitor who's got his hands under the table.”
— Mark Bowden
Key Quote
“The best way to sell to anyone is to just tell them a problem in a better way.”