Childhood scripts for friends, safety and rewards still run adult lives; hear them as a child's voice.
Three childhood questions govern adult behaviourFriends, safety and rewards scripts get written as a kid and carried into adulthood by 90% of us.
Hear the pattern as a child's voiceThe voice never goes away, like Mary had a little lamb; what changes is hearing a misguided kid, not an adult.
Put the limiting belief on your wallpaperWrite the belief in plain English and what it truly costs you, and look at it every day when you turn your computer on.
Executive SummaryAI
Chase, a behavior profiler, explains the Childhood Development Triangle: what a child had to do to earn and keep friends, to feel safe, and to get rewards, and says 90% of us carry those scripts in a backpack into adulthood.
The host gives two examples of colleagues, including one he calls Sarah, who stare and pre-empt 20 steps ahead because their fathers' moods changed rapidly, which makes them exceptional at work but likely at a cost.
Chase says these patterns are contracts written in a child's voice, that awareness matters more than any six-step fix, and that the two side agreements are accepting you may never be understood and that you are not special.
He lays out the three questions to ask people: what did you do to make and keep friends, what did you need to do or avoid to feel safe, and what did you feel you had to do to earn rewards.
For a pattern that is ruining your life, Chase prescribes writing the child's contract down and making a desktop wallpaper of the limiting belief taken to its extreme, as with a client with three kids whose wallpaper read that his kids don't deserve for him to be successful; the host adds that the scripts never leave, you only turn down their ability to make the decision.
Key Quote
“And 90% of us are walking around with this exact triangle governing our life.”
— Chase
Key Quote
“It's just a kid who made these choices. It's not an adult.”
— Chase
Key Quote
“It's our argument to be understood more than it is for us to come to a solution.”