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Mother's Final Blessing

14:59 recording · EN · 1 speaker

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Brief overview

A mother's deathbed message and a materialized silver amulet set young Mukunda on his search for God.

  1. The vision preceded the telegramThe apparition at the mosquito netting told him to leave at four o'clock, and the next morning's words confirmed his mother was dangerously ill.
  2. Grief turned into longing for GodBereft at the dawn pilgrimages to the shioli tree, he wept for the lost mothers, human and divine, and felt powerfully drawn to the Himalayas.
  3. The amulet was a promise, not an objectIt materialized as the sadhu foretold, was held a year by Ananta, and was to vanish once it had served its purpose.
Executive Summary AI
  • The narrator's mother longed above all for his elder brother Ananta's marriage, and when he was about eleven she was in Calcutta supervising the elaborate wedding preparations at fifty Amherst Street while he and father remained at Bareilly in northern India.
  • A whispered apparition of his mother at night told him to take the four o'clock train to Calcutta, but father called it a hallucination and said they would leave tomorrow if bad news came; the next morning's message read that mother was dangerously ill and the marriage postponed.
  • After the crematory rites he made a daily dawn pilgrimage to the shioli tree, was seized by longing for God and for the Himalayas, and when he proposed running away, Ananta ridiculed him by asking where his orange robe was, which only thrilled him.
  • Father, who never remarried in his nearly forty remaining years and practised Kriya Yoga alone in his room, refused an English nurse with the words that service to him ended with his wife; fourteen months after her passing Ananta finally delivered mother's recorded deathbed message and a small box.
  • Mother's message recounted Lahiri Mahasaya's blessing that her son would be a yogi and a sadhu in the Panjab foretelling both her short life and a silver amulet that materialized in her palms the next evening, which she guarded more than two years and left in Ananta's keeping for Mukunda.
Key Quote
“Your mother is in excellent health.”
— Father
Key Quote
“You shall never forgive yourself for not starting now.”
— Mukunda
Key Quote
“Where is your orange robe? You can't be a swami without that.”
— Ananta

Transcript

0:00 chapter two my mother's death and the mystic amulet my mother's greatest desire was the marriage of my elder brother ah when i behold the face of ananta's wife i shall find heaven on this earth
0:16 i frequently heard mother express in these words her strong indian sentiment for family continuity i was about eleven years old at the time of
0:26 Anantha's betrothal. Mother was in Calcutta, joyously supervising the wedding preparations.
0:34 Father and I alone remained at our home in Bareilly, in northern India, whence father
0:39 had been transferred after two years at Lahore. I had previously witnessed the splendour of nuptial rites for my two elder sisters roma and uma but for ananta as the eldest son plants were truly elaborate from distant homes she lodged them comfortably in a large newly acquired house at fifty amherst street everything was in readiness the banquet delicacies the gay throne on which brother was to orchestras the professional entertainers the priests for the ancient rituals father and i was awakened by a peculiar flutter of the mosquito netting over the bed the flimsy curtains parted and i saw the beloved form of my mother your father her voice was only a whisper take the first available train at four o'clock this morning rush to calcutta if you would see me the wraith-like figure vanished father father mother is dying I sobbed out the fatal tidings. Never mind that hallucination of yours.
2:26 Father gave his characteristic negation to a new situation.
2:30 Your mother is in excellent health.
2:32 If we get any bad news, we shall leave tomorrow.
2:35 You shall never forgive yourself for not starting now.
2:39 Anguish caused me to add bitterly.
2:42 Nor shall I ever forgive you.
2:44 The melancholy morning came with explicit words mother dangerously ill marriage postponed come at once father and i left distractedly A train thundered toward us, looming with telescopic increase. From my inner tumult,
3:07 an abrupt determination arose to hurl myself on the railroad tracks. Already bereft,
3:14 I felt of my mother. I could not endure a world suddenly barren to the bone.
3:19 I loved mother as my dearest friend on earth. Her solacing black eyes had been my surest refuge in the trifling tragedies of childhood does she yet live i stopped for one last question to my uncle him when we reached our calcutta home it was only to confront the stunning mystery of many mothers see in my gaze the two black eyes the last beautiful eyes thou seekest soon after the crematory rites for the well-beloved. Early every morning I made a
4:26 pathetic memorial pilgrimage to a large shioli tree which shaded the smooth green-gold lawn
4:32 before our bungalow. In poetical moments I thought that the white shioli flowers
4:38 were strewing themselves with a willing devotion over the grassy altar mingling tears with the dew i often observed a strange other-worldly light emerging from the dawn
4:50 intense pangs of longing for god assailed me i felt powerfully drawn to the himalayas one of my cousins fresh from a period of travel in the holy hills, visited us in Bareilly. I listened eagerly to his tales about
5:06 the high mountain abode of yogis and swamis. Beginning of footnote number 2.1. Sanskrit root
5:14 meaning of swami is he who is one with his self. Swa. Applied to a member of the Indian order of
5:23 monks, the title has the formal respect of the reverend.
5:28 End of footnote number 2.1
5:30 Let us run away to the Himalayas.
5:33 My suggestion one day to Dwarka Prasad, the young son of our landlord in Bareilly,
5:38 fell on unsympathetic ears.
5:41 He revealed my plan to my elder brother, who had just arrived to see father. Instead of
5:47 laughing lightly over this impractical scheme of a small boy, Ananta made it a definite point
5:53 to ridicule me. Where is your orange robe? You can't be a swami without that. But I was
5:59 inexplicably thrilled by his words. They brought a clear picture of myself roaming about india as a monk perhaps they awakened memories of a past life in any case i began to see with what natural ease i would wear the garb of that anciently founded monastic order a love for god descending with avalanchic force my companion was only partly attentive to the ensuing The only pilgrimage permitted me was the customary one
6:47 at dawn to the Sheole tree. My heart wept for the lost mothers, human and divine. The rent left in
6:54 the family fabric by mother's death was irreparable. Father never remarried during his nearly forty
7:01 remaining years. Assuming the difficult role of father-mother to his little
7:06 flock, he grew noticeably more tender, more approachable. With calmness and insight,
7:13 he solved the various family problems. After office hours, he retired like a hermit to the
7:19 cell of his room, practicing Kriya Yoga in a sweet serenity. Long after mother's death, I attempted to engage an
7:27 English nurse to attend to details that would make my parents' life more comfortable. But father
7:33 shook his head. Service to me ended with your mother. His eyes were remote with a lifelong
7:40 devotion. I will not accept ministrations from any other woman. Fourteen months after mother's passing, I learned that she had left me a momentous message.
7:51 Ananta was present at her deathbed and had recorded her words.

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