You cannot change your life until you own your story, control its narrative, and write what's next.
Own your part before blaming anything elseGovernment, partner, boss and market all influence results, but blaming them hands away the control to change anything.
Fifty percent of the problem, one hundred percent of the solutionHe told the client he couldn't control what his wife did, only how he showed up and tried to change the outcome.
Same event, two possible storiesThe bank robber's sons had the same father and the same life, and one said "how could I not" while the other said "how could I possibly not".
Executive SummaryAI
Lachlan Stewart opens by splitting men into two kinds: the victim who feels at the effect of news, politics and everything, and the creator who owns their story and turns choices into reality.
He introduces a client from about four years ago doing FIFO fly in, fly out work, with three kids at home and a marriage falling apart, who blamed his wife, his kids and the job for why he wasn't showing up.
Step one was owning what happened: the man had worked seven on seven off for about eight years, checked in with a token text message while away, and came home wanting the washing done and sleep, never seeing the weight his wife was carrying.
Step two, controlling the narrative, is illustrated with the bank robber serving life in prison whose two sons had the same father and told opposite stories, one saying "how could I not end up like this?" from a life in and out of prison, the other saying "how could I possibly not" turn out well.
Step three is writing the next chapter, and four years on the client has moved off the seven on seven off roster, relocated so his kids get better schooling, does date nights with his wife and is back in the rugby league community.
Key Quote
“You cannot become the man you want to be until you own the man that you've become.”
— Lachlan Stewart
Key Quote
“You're saying that happened to me rather than that happened for me.”
— Lachlan Stewart
Key Quote
“Or you can blame the government. You can blame your partner. You can blame your boss.”