The host describes Puer as keeping options open and never locking into one thing. BSJ, a former Dota pro, relates to feeling tasks are beneath him, such as dreading 30 minutes of boring work while thinking he could be making videos, and to juggling panelist work, streaming, pro play, YouTube and coaching at once.

Yes. The host says Puers often attribute their lack of success to the failures of the people around them, like thinking the company would have succeeded if the CFO or CTO had done their job. BSJ's example of 'if my teammates did what they should, I'd be 15K' is the same tendency to absolve responsibility.

The host compares it to rerolling a Civilization start until it is perfect: Puers hate working with a faulty start and throw in the towel when things do not begin ideally. BSJ recognises this in Dota, where one mistake at five minutes makes him feel he should not have been there at all.

He rehearses the conversation a hundred times on the walk, then switches to English at the first sign they know he is not Dutch. The host links this to his standard: if he cannot score 100 he would rather have zero, which also explains giving up quickly and hedging across many things.

BSJ says he was ingrained with the idea that the more perfect he was, the more his dad would love him. After basketball games where he played best, his dad immediately focused on the two free throws he missed out of ten, in a Scottsdale culture where parents saw children as a reflection of themselves.

BSJ first says it does not help, but the host argues he is analysing himself from the outside. Being hard on himself serves a real function: self-punishment pushes him to 10 out of 10 where a pat on the back would let him stop at six or seven, even though it causes suffering.

Drawing on his work as a psychiatrist, he cites Freud's idea that depression is anger turned inward. When blame is not placed where it belongs, you carry it yourself, like blaming yourself for a mid that went 0-6. He says you cannot forgive if you never blame, so the issue lingers.

Running the final leg, he started five to ten metres behind, closed the gap and lost by about a hundredth of a second. His coach said he did all that just to lose, but a stranger, an official, told him to be proud and that it was one of the finest runs he had seen, and BSJ cried.

He has changed fast, coaching with more emotional intelligence and distancing himself from how most high-level Dota players think, so the wedge with that crowd grew in recent months after his Netherlands friend group also imploded. The host says this is because he is levelling up and deeper parts of him still need healing.

Since messaging months earlier, BSJ moved in with his girlfriend, narrowed from five pursuits to about two and built his first hundred coaching students. The host says that as problems like Puer are solved, deeper core issues surface, which is why his mother saying she was proud made him sob.