Dr. Mally Coyne says it comes from our upbringing and a productivity-driven culture. The tricky brain scans for threats, once lions, now deadlines, social comparison and uncertainty. When threatened, we switch into drive, doing more to reduce anxiety, while the soothing system, which covers rest, connection and feeling safe, gets forgotten.

Mally describes threat, which keeps us safe through fight or flight; drive, which is about goals and achieving; and soothing, which covers connection, feeling safe and rest. Clients often come to her because the soothing system is neglected, and a toxic drive loop fuelled by threat takes over.

Yes. Mally told a Leaving Cert student who skipped walks to study that walking would help her perform better, letting her prefrontal cortex think clearly and concentrate. Her advice was that if you won't rest for yourself, do it for the goal you have in mind, because rest is productive.

Mally says the body whispers before it screams. Tune in by placing a hand on your chest or belly, breathing and asking what it needs. She uses the HALT acronym: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. She herself sets an alarm and closes her eyes briefly between evening clients.

Mally explains that children who were told to push through when sick or tired, or whose feelings weren't validated, stop using those brain connections. Children scanning for danger at home watch external signals instead of internal ones, so they lose trust in their bodies and the signal fades.

Mally says repair is the fertile ground on which amazing brain connections are built. Apologise without blaming the child, for example explaining that mommy was tired or should have eaten. This happens in every household, and what's on Instagram is not the reality of life.

Mally recommends a double breath, which she thinks is called the physiological breath: breathe in deeply through your nose, take another breath in through your nose, pause, then let out a big breath through your mouth. A couple of these can clarify your mind in the moment.

Mally notes there will always be more to do, so plan replenishment before busy days. Guilt often hides core beliefs like 'if I'm not doing, I'm not valuable'. Ask what you'd tell a best friend running on empty, and remember we're human beings, not human doings.

Breathe in and out with one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Acknowledge that this is a difficult moment and name the feeling, such as guilt or laziness. Remind yourself you are not alone, since everyone shares these feelings, then say: may I be kind to myself in this moment.

When she worked away from home, Mally parked down the road and did a five-minute lap of the green before going in, arriving much more regulated. She also mentions Brian Penny's habit stacking, like getting water when passing the water cooler, and setting phone reminders to preempt rest.