Conscious self-pleasure is a portal to confidence, creativity and aliveness, not just better sex.
Pleasure is a birthright, not an indulgenceBibi calls pleasure healing, soothing, a way to regulate the nervous system and a form of self-love.
Practice your own instrument before the duetShe compares intimacy to two guitarists in a concert who never practised alone, yet expect it to be flawless.
Lead by example instead of blaming a partnerStart with yourself, bring solutions not problems, and let a third party like a podcast or book carry the invitation.
Executive SummaryAI
Valeria Lipovetsky introduces Bibi, a conscious sexuality coach she met at the Intelligent Change Retreat in Ibiza, where Bibi taught the workshop she attended with Gary.
Bibi describes 15 years in finance and banking, from communist-era Poland to an office on Times Square, living a Sex and the City life that left her unfulfilled until a mild midlife crisis a little over 30 made her quit.
Her turning point was what she calls a sexual awakening: a fully clothed breathing and energy workshop where the teacher told her she had experienced an energy full body orgasm, followed days later by about five hours of full body energy orgasms with another participant.
She reframes masturbation as conscious self-pleasure or a self-love ritual with an intention, scheduled time, breath, meditation and movement, arguing that women must learn to play their own instrument before expecting the duet with a partner to sound good.
As proof that it is never too late, she cites a couple, an 84-year-old man and his wife in her seventies, who struggled for 12 years and after hormone therapy failed learned anatomy of arousal and energy work and now have full body orgasms.
Key Quote
“And really, pleasure is your birthright.”
— Bibi
Key Quote
“We never practice playing our own guitar, yet we are expecting the concert to be fabulous.”
— Bibi
Key Quote
“One thing that I would like to also add is that pornography is not made to educate.”