Chapter 28
Yogananda founds a yoga school and learns lessons in detachment
This chapter traces how Yogananda moved from reluctance about institutional work to building a beloved school, and how a dying deer taught him the difference between love and attachment.
God is the honey, organizations are the hives. Both are necessary. Form is useless of course without the spirit.
You are holding me back. Please let me go. Let me go.
Shanandan, here I kick the frame by the second Kriya Yoga.
chapter twenty seven of autobiography of a yogi this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox dot org autobiography of a yogi by paramhans yoganand Are you averse to organizational work? Master's question startled me a bit. It is true that my private conviction at the time was that organizations were hornets' nests. It is a thankless task, sir, I answered. No matter what the leader does or does not, he is criticized. Do you want the whole divine chana, or milk curd, for yourself alone?
My guru's retort was accompanied by a stern glance. Could you or anyone else achieve God-contact through yoga if a line of generous hearted masters had not been willing to convey their knowledge to others? He added, God is the honey, organizations are the hives. Both are necessary form is useless of course without the spirit but why should you not start busy hives full of the spiritual nectar his counsel moved me deeply although i made no outward reply an adamant resolution arose in my breast i would share with my fellows so far as lay in my power the unshackling truths i had learned at my guru's feet lord i prayed may thy love shine forever on the sanctuary of my devotion and may i be able to awaken that love in other hearts order, Sri Yukteswar had made a most unexpected remark.
How you will miss the companionship of a wife in your old age, he had said. Do you not agree that the family man engaged in useful work to maintain his wife and children thus plays a rewarding role in God's eyes? Sir, I had protested in alarm, you know that my desire in this life is to espouse only the cosmic beloved? Master had laughed so merrily that I understood his observation was made severely as a test of my faith. Remember, he had said slowly, that he who discards his worldly duties can justify himself only by assuming some kind of responsibility toward a much larger family.
The idea of an all-sided education for youth had always been close to my heart. I saw clearly the arid results of ordinary instruction aimed only at the development of body and intellect. Moral and spiritual values, without whose appreciation no man can approach happiness, were yet lacking in the formal curriculum. i determined to follow a school where young boys could develop to the full stature of kashim bazar i was able to transfer my fast-growing group to was transformed into the headquarters for the new school which i called brahmacharya vidyalaya in accordance with the educational ideals of the rishis their forest ashrams had been the ancient seats of learning secular and divine for the youth of india for both grammar and high school grades.
It included agricultural, industrial, commercial and academic subjects. The students were also taught yoga concentration and meditation and a unique system of physical development, yogoda, whose principles I had discovered in 1916. Realizing that man's body is like an electric battery, I reasoned that it could be charged with energy through the direct supply of the life energy from one part of the body to another part and to sit in perfect poise in difficult body postures. They performed feats of strength and endurance which many powerful adults could not equal.
My youngest brother, Vishnu Charungosh, joined the Ranchi school. He later became a leading physical culturist in Bengal. He and one of his students traveled to europe and america giving exhibitions of strength and skill which amazed the university savants including those at columbia university in new york at the end of the first year at r time was solely residential could accommodate only about one hundred. Instruction for day students was soon added. In the Vidyalaya, I had to play father, mother to the little children and to cope with many organizational difficulties.
I often remembered Christ's words, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospels, but he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses and brethren, and sisters and mothers and children, and lands with persecutions, and in the worlds to come eternal life. Sri Yukteswar had interpreted these words, the devotee who forgoes the life experiences of marriage and family, and exchanges the problems of a small household and limited activities for the larger responsibilities of service to society in general, is undertaking a task which is often accompanied by persecution from a misunderstanding world, but also by divine inner contentment.
One day my father arrived at Rachi to bestow a paternal blessing, long withheld because I had hurt him by refusing his offer of a position with the Bengal Nagpur Railway. Son, he said, I am now reconciled to your choice in life. It gives me joy to see you amidst these happy, eager youngsters. You belong here, rather than with the lifeless figures of railroad timetables. He waved to a group of a dozen little ones who were tagging at my heels. I had only eight children, he observed with twinkling eyes, but I can feel for you.
With a large fruit orchard and twenty-five fertile acres at our disposal the students teachers and myself enjoyed many happy hours of outdoor labor in these ideal surroundings we had many pets including a young deer who was fairly idolized by the children i too loved the fawn so much that i allowed it to sleep in my room at the light of dawn the little creature would toddle over to my bed for a morning caress one day i fed the pet earlier than usual of milk. When I came back in the evening, sad news greeted me.
The little fawn is nearly dead through overfeeding. In tears I placed the apparently lifeless pet on my lap. I prayed piteously to God to spare its life. Hours later, the small creature opened its eyes, stood up, and walked feebly. The whole school shouted for joy. But a deep lesson came to me that night, one I can never forget. I stayed up with the fawn until two o'clock when I fell asleep. The deer appeared in a dream and spoke to me. You are holding me back. Please let me go.
Let me go. All right, I answered in the dream. I awoke immediately and cried out, Boys, the deer is dying. The children rushed to my side. I ran to the corner of the room where I had placed the pet. It made a last effort to rise, stumbled toward me, then dropped at my feet, dead. According to the mass karma which guides and regulates the destinies of animals, the deer's life was over, and it was ready to progress to a higher form. But by my deep attachment, which I later realized was selfish, and by my fervent prayers, I had been able to hold it in the limitations of the animal form from which the soul was struggling for release.
The soul of the deer made its plea in a dream, because, without my loving permission, it either would not or could not go. As soon as I agreed, it departed. All sorrow left me. I realized anew that God wants His children to love everything, as a part of Him, and not to feel delusively that death ends all. The ignorant man sees only the insurmountable wall of death hiding seemingly forever his childish friends but the man of unattachment dear ones have only returned for a breathing space of joy in him.
The Rachi school grew from small and simple beginnings to an institution now well known in India. Many departments of the school are supported by voluntary contributions from those who rejoice in perpetuating the educational ideals of the rishis. Under the general name of Yogada Satsang, flourishing branch schools have been established at Midnapore, Lakshmanpur and puri the rachi headquarters have distinguished themselves in later university life one of the earliest great figures to inspect the vidyalay in to see that Lahiri Mahasaya's ideals for the proper training of youth are being carried on in this institution.
My guru's blessings be on it. A young lad sitting by my side ventured to ask the great yogi a question. Sir, he said, shall I be a monk? Is my life only for God? Though Swami Pranab Nand smiled gently, his eyes were piercing the future. Child, he replied, when you grow up, there is a beautiful bride waiting for you. The boy did eventually marry, after having planned for years to enter the Swami order. Some time after Swami Pranab Nand had visited Raji, I accompanied my father to the Calcutta house where the yogi was temporarily staying.
Pranab Nand's prediction made to me so many years before came rushing to my mind. I shall see you with your father later on. As father entered the swami's room, the great yogi rose from his seat and embraced my parent with loving respect. Bhagavati, he said, what are you doing about yourself don't you see your son racing to the infinite i blushed to hear his praise before my father the swami went on you recall how often our blessed guru used to say banat banat banjai so keep up kriya yoga ceaselessly and reach the divine portals quickly the body of pranab nanda which had appeared so well and strong during my amazing first visit to him in banaras now showed definite aging though his posture was still admirably erect swamiji i inquired looking straight into his eyes please tell me the truth aren't you feeling the advance of age?
As the body is weakening, are your perceptions of God suffering any diminution? He smiled angelically. The beloved is more than ever with me now. His complete conviction overwhelmed my mind and soul. He went on. I'm still enjoying the two pensions, one fromagavati here and one from above pointing his finger heavenward the saint fell into an ecstasy his face lit with a divine glow an ample answer to my question i have left benares permanently he said and am now on my go to the himalayas there to throw off my mortal frame but the Swami smiled tranquilly.
He reminded me of a little heavenly child, sitting securely on the lap of the Divine Mother. The burden of the years has no ill effect on a great yogi's full possession of supreme spiritual powers. He is able to renew his body at will, yet sometimes he does not care to retard the aging process, but allows his karma to work itself out on the physical plane, using his old body as a time-saving device to exclude the necessity of working out karma in a new incarnation. Months later, I met an old friend, Shanandan, who was one of Pranob Nanda's close disciple.
My adorable guru is gone, he told me amidst sobs. He established a hermitage near Rishikesh and gave us loving training. When we were pretty well settled and making rapid spiritual progress in his company, he purposed one morning to feed a huge crowd from Rishikesh. I inquired why he wanted such a large crowd. This is my last festival ceremony, he said. I did not understand the full implications of his words. Pranabnandaji helped me with the cooking of great amounts of food. We fed about two thousand guests.
After the feast, he sat on a high platform and gave an inspired sermon on the infinite. At the end, before the gaze of thousands, he turned to me as I sat beside him on the dais and spoke with unusual force. Shanandan, be prepared. I am going to kick the frame. After a stunned silence, I cried loudly. Master, don't do it. Please, please don't do it. The crowd was tongue-tied, watching us curiously. My guru smiled at me, but his solemn gaze was already fixed on eternity. Be not selfish, he said, nor grieve for me.
I have been long cheerfully serving you all. Now rejoice and wish me Godspeed. I go to meet my cosmic beloved. In a whisper, Pranab Nandaji added, I shall be reborn shortly. After enjoying a short period of the infinite bliss, I shall return to the earth and join Babaji. You shall soon know when and where my soul has been encased in a new body. He cried again, Shanandan, here I kick the frame by the second Kriya Yog. He looked at the sea of faces before us and gave a blessing directing his gaze inwardly to the spiritual eye he became immobile when the bewildered crowd thought he was meditating in an ecstatic state he had already left the tabernacle of flesh and plunged his soul into the cosmic vastness the disciples touched his body seated in the lotus posture but it was no longer the warm flesh only a stiffened frame remained the tenant had fled to the immortal shore I cannot divulge to anyone.
Shanandan replied, Perhaps you may find out some other way. Years later I discovered from Swami Keshavnand that Pranabdand, a few years after his birth in a new body, had gone to Badrinarayan in the Himalayas and there joined the group of saints around the great Babaji.